Take time to get to know the person you’re dating. Learn who they really are ...

Steps You Can Take for Lasting Love

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201802/toxic-romantic-loveWe will attract someone who treats us the way we expect to be treated. As we value ourselves more, whom we are attracted to will also change, and we will naturally avoid someone who doesn’t treat us well or meet our needs.

1. Know yourself, your needs, wants, and limits. (Do the exercises in Codependency for Dummies.)
2. Take time to get to know the person you’re dating. Learn who they really are and how you both resolve conflict.
3. Remember that sex releases oxytocin and increases bonding (though it can occur without it).
4. Be honest from the start. Don’t hide who you are, including your needs. Speak up when you dislike something.
5. Talk honestly about what you want and your expectations in a relationship. If the other person doesn't want the same things, end it. (This may not be easy, but the relationship wouldn’t have worked or satisfied you.)
6. Research shows that relationship outcomes are predictable based on the partners’ self esteem. Read “The Effect of Low Self-Esteem on Relationships.” Self-worth is essential to healthy relationships. It also enables you to receive love and be repulsed by abuse. Get How to Raise Your Self-Esteem.
7. Boundaries and intimacy are essential to relationships. Learn to be assertive to express your feelings, needs, and wants and set boundaries. Get How To Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive and Set Limits and the webinar How to Be Assertive.
8. Read “How to Change Your Attachment Style,” and take the quiz.